Today I want to share a tool to get distance from your thoughts. This is a tool I first learned from a lady on a YouTube channel called Crappy Childhood Fairy. I have not taken the classes she offers and have not subscribed to her channel, so I am not endorsing all of her content. I am saying that a tool I heard first on her channel has been very helpful to me. I hope it will be for you as well!
Write down the thoughts, in a specific way
The basic idea is that you simply write down the thoughts you are having that are causing you distress. Because you are able to write the thoughts down, this alone can help to create some distance.
Key Idea: You are not your thoughts.
With this in mind, she offers that it can be helpful to add something like “I am noticing I am having the fearful thought that …” before the thought you write down. This allows you to acknowledge what is really happening.
Key Idea: You are the noticer of the thoughts.
Do not filter the thoughts that you are writing down
The first objective is to simply record what you are noticing, not what you are or are not agreeing with. You can reflect later. This tool is simply about noticing. Once you have established the distance between yourself and your thoughts, you will find other tools may be helpful.
The Crappy Childhood Fairy recommends doing this exercise daily for a period of time, at least. I did do this for about a month. I now find, I use it in times when I get flooded with thoughts.
When the clock is ticking and you have to do something it can be tempting to abandon all you know is healthy and go for what is easy. In this post I want to explore tools for when you are under pressure.
It is the day before the fiscal year end and suddenly things that have gone unresolved have to be addressed. The ones actually responsible for resolving the issues either cannot be reached or somehow manage to redirect the pressure cooker to you. Or perhaps it is your own doing. You knew you had this deadline. The urgent, or maybe even the just more fun, kept usurping its power over the important. In either case, you’re here now and you need to do something.
Start with Awareness
It is interesting to understand research says some people actually perform better under this kind of time stress. There is also research that says that parts of our brain go off-line in favor of other areas when we are stressed. Like most things, the first tool I will recommend is awareness. Tuning in to your body with compassion for the demands it is experiencing is a kind first step.
Guard Your Heart
Scripture tells us to guard our hearts above all else because all of life flows from it.
Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.
Proverbs 4:23 NIV
In times of stress, I find it becomes very easy to become resentful. “Why didn’t they come to me sooner?” “Why do I always have to do this?” “This project is stupid anyway.” are some of the thoughts that come to mind. Although there may be some validity to them. This is likely not a fruitful train of thought in the immediate. During times when you are under pressure, sometimes you need to focus on the short term, then make a plan to address the long term after the crisis has been addressed.
Choose Wisely
My husband was a combat medic and he describes a process of triage that he was instructed in when coming upon a medical emergency. Although, thankfully, most times of pressure are not medical emergencies, the principals of prioritizing and choice making can serve us well in these times. A key thing to recognize when under pressure, is that not all requests are created equal. It is ok to make choices of what will and what will not receive your attention.
Regroup Once the Pressure Has Lifted
As mentioned multiple times above, times of pressure often involve short term compromises. As necessary as those can be short term, they can be detrimental if they extend beyond their useful life. It is very important to regroup once the pressure has lifted. Some things to consider:
What lead to this time of pressure?
Were there things that could have been done differently to avoid this?
Who is accountable for doing the things that will help this be avoided?
How can we better handle these things in the future?
Are there ways to lessen the impact in the future?
Did this time of pressure lead to any things that need to be addressed now? In other words, are there messes to clean up?
Can formal triage procedures be put in place?
I’d love to hear from you, what are some tolls for when you are under pressure that you have found helpful?
