Yourself

Getting Practical – Focus and Overwhelm

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This morning has been one of those times when I am feeling scattered. Perhaps you know the feeling – where twenty thoughts seem to vi for your attention and yet nothing really seems to stick.

For me this looked like – I need to take a walk, no I should listen to this podcast, well I could listen to the podcast while I walk, wait did I update that spreadsheet, oh what about that book I was going to see if the library had and on and on it can go.

In times like these I can get very frustrated with myself. So if you are feeling something like this as well, I thought it might be helpful to get really practical. I watched a short youtube video by Tim Ferriss where he spoke about this very thing. In it he shared a very short checklist of things he asks in these times.

Am I eating enough? Tim is very health-conscious, much more so than I am, but I do think the point can be valid. Sometimes our lack of focus and/or overwhelm can be a simple physical need. As he said, we may just need to eat some nuts.

Am I consuming too much caffeine? Again see note about Tim’s focus on health. I am not a coffee drinker, so this is not necessarily my likely cause, but it could be my consumption of sugar etc.

Reflective Questions – he went on to share a few really easy reflective questions that he asks himself and answers – always on paper. He feels writing them out is especially helpful.

80/20 Analysis – What are the 20% of activities or people that are producing 80% of the positive feelings for me? And what about the negative?

What would this look like if it were easy?

He shared that sometimes the reflective questions, just allow him to process and let go. Other times they actually spark a change he wants to implement.

I hope that this serves as practical help for others who may be wondering how to process through feelings of lack of focus and overwhelm.

Jesus, Yourself

The Gift of Rest

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How many times have we read some verses and not really known what they are saying. This verse is like that for me:

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest … “. Matthew 11:28a

Did you see it? Rest in this verse is a gift. A gift that Jesus longs to give us. I don’t know about you but rest for me can sometimes feel like something that is illusive. Sometimes, I get myself so tired that I literally think I’m going to collapse from exhaustion, only to find that I “cannot” fall asleep. Aren’t these times just so frustrating? I describe this as a battle between my mind and my body. My mind is on overdrive, but my body is spent.

At times if these nights go on too long, or I have too many in a row, I can find that I literally start seeking rest or sleep or both. This is where this verse is so applicable. Rather than seeking the rest or the sleep, the invitation here is to seek Jesus and the rest will be given.

Ok, so that all sounds good in theory but because Jesus is invisible and we are so tired, sometimes I find that I just need someone to boil it down to what does that look like practically speaking. So here is what I am learning about “coming to Jesus” – it is not as difficult as I make it. I am learning a really practical way I can turn to Him (since He never left) is to simple stop (pause) and take a deep breath. In that breath I say His name (Jesus) and in the exhale I say “You are here.” I say these words silently. I usually say them multiple times as I breath slowly. I actually just learned recently, there is a term for this practice I’ve been doing. Some call these types of prayers, breath prayers. Who knew? Well apparently many people. But if you, like me, had not, I’m sharing with you. I’ve found these types of simple acknowledging prayers help me to return to the reality that Jesus is here and that I am safe with Him. And I receive rest.

I pray you will as well!

Others, Yourself

Who Should We Be Listening To? / Questions God Asks?

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“Who told you …?”

Would it surprise you that this is a question that God asked Adam. Well to be more correct, it is part of a question that God asked Adam. The full question was “Who told you that you were naked?” Genesis 3:11. The context was that Adam and Eve had done what God had commanded them not to do. As a result Adam and Eve were hiding. In the course of the discussion, Adam said he was ashamed because he was naked. This is when God asked the question. This is a question that I used to just brush right by. But as I have grown, it is a question I hear God ask me so often … Who told you … you were not enough? Who told you … you couldn’t do this? Who told you … this is just how it is? You get the idea.

So who should we, as Christians, be listening to? I know it can be easy to answer this with “God” or “Jesus”, and yes that is true. But really what does this look like. How do we walk this out? How important is it anyway?

Today I read a familiar passage …

How blessed is the man who does not walk in the counsel of the wicked, Nor stand in the path of sinners, Nor sit in the seat of scoffers! But his delight is in the law of the Lord, And in His law he meditates day and night. He will be like a tree firmly planted by streams of water, Which yields its fruit in its season And its leaf does not wither;
And in whatever he does, he prospers. Psalm 1:1-3

This verse begins with this very topic – do you see it? “How blessed is the man who does not walk in the counsel of the wicked …” This is basically saying that it matters whose voice we give weight to!

For me, lately a way that I am working to practice this scripture is to not allow fault finders, complainers, unkind people etc to be the ones that I cower to or strive to impress. Think about it, how many times do you hear something good or neutral and just minimize it and move on, but when you hear something negative it hits like an arrow stabbing you in the heart. I want to caution you and me to be careful whose counsel we are sitting under in these situation.

I read a meme the other day that sums it up this way…

“Don’t take criticism from someone you would not go to for advice.”

I am not saying to only surround yourself with “yes men” / people who tell you what you want to hear. But I am telling you that sometimes asking ourselves “Who told you …?” is a good and healthy thing.

So what should we spend our time thinking about/listening to?

The verse addresses this as well … “And in His laws (God’s Word) he meditates day and night.” For me in practice this has meant that I have recently made it a daily (actually multiple times per day) practice that I stop (pause) and just be still and know that He is God. In those moments sometimes I just meditate (repeat over and over internally) on what God says over me. I’ll say (internally) things like God, You say that I am Your masterpiece; God, You say I can do all things. God, You say that You have chosen me.

So I want to encourage you to ask yourself “Who told me …” when you are struggling and if God did not say it, replace it with what He did say.

Others

Dependability

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Today I read about a speech at a local school that was about dependability. When I read this, I immediately thought, that is a great topic to speak with school aged kids about.

Do what we want when we want.

I’ve noticed that my kids tend not to make many plans very far in advance. I think this part of the technology day and age we are living in. It used to be we would have to call our friend’s home in order to make plans with them. We knew that if we didn’t make plans with them there was a very real chance that when we did want to make plans we may not be able to reach them.

Another reason I think we don’t necessarily plan ahead is simply self-centeredness. Sometimes we want to wait and see if we “feel” like doing that particular thing at that time.

So what’s the big deal if we don’t plan ahead?

So, you might be thinking to yourself, what’s the big deal if we (or our kids) don’t plan ahead. I contend that there are some things that are valuable with only come with this type of planning ahead. One of those things is the opportunity to prove ourselves dependable.

Scripture tells us that our yes needs to mean yes, and our no needs to mean no (Matthew 5:37). This sometimes means that once we’ve committed to something, we may end up needing to sacrifice in order to fulfill that commitment. I contend this is a valuable lesson for both us and our kids. It is yet another way where we learn that our life is not only about ourselves.

Yourself

New Beginnings Are Not Just for January 1st

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New Beginnings Are Not Just for January 1st

Each year at the end of one year, we get the message that somehow January 1st is going to hold the magic key to a new beginning.

While I absolutely embrace the idea that each day we should start with intention. Each day we can view as a time that we might choose to take on larger or longer term goals. I reject the tone that seems to come across with these new year’s = new start messages. The tone I have sensed all too often is one that basically encourages us to make a list of all the areas we are falling short in and set new goals to “be different.” The implied message is that you are not good as you are.

So, while I do encourage us to all be willing to embrace new beginnings, I want to do so with two important differences.

  1. Desire for change does not have to mean we reject ourselves.
  2. Change can happen or start anytime, not just January 1st, so don’t put artificial pressure on yourself to fit this timetable.

Desire for change does not have to mean we reject ourselves.

Since you are reading this post, I imagine there is an area of your life that you would like to see some changes in. It might be in your marriage, in other relationships, in your devotion to Christ, in your weight, or even in the way you organize your pantry. I’ll say again desire for change does not have to mean we reject ourselves. It is even ok to realize the change is based on some thing or things that are not working for you, again without rejecting ourselves. I know this may seem nuanced and to a certain extent it is. But I think it is an important distinction. That is to realize that we are not bad, simply because we are doing some things that are not working. Did you catch that, I am basically encouraging you to separate your who from your do to a certain extent.

May I make a suggestion? Well since this is my post, I’m going to go ahead and do so. What if you looked at a desired change from the perspective that the mere fact that you want the change illustrates you are for yourself, not against yourself? What if you said I’m going to choose different ways of eating because I love myself that much, instead of I need to eat differently because I’m fat? Doesn’t the feel different?

This is something I am just now learning and exploring and trying to put into practice. It is part of how I am trying to be more present to myself.

Change can happen or start anytime, not just January 1st, so don’t put artificial pressure on yourself to fit this timetable.

Now I’d like to transition into the discussion of timing of changes. I see far too often where I and others put off a change they are prompted to make simply because it is not January 1st, or Monday or whatever. I also see pressure to come up with changes and start them on January 1st. But what if you hear about something on a random Tuesday in October that just lights your heart up – are you supposed to wait. I far too often go into analysis paralysis in these times. I want to encourage us to be more flexible in our timings. I also want us to feel free to skip the pressure to come up with something for January 1st. It’s a day, just as good as any. If you are feeling prompted to make a change then, great. If you are not, I am giving you permission not to take the bait, there is no need to manufacture the change.

JOY Impact

So what is JOY Impact?

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Learn who we were designed to be

This blog is for people who are seeking to bring glory to God, while learning to be who they were designed to be.   If you love God, family, and others, but also want to learn to love yourself well as well, this site is for you.  Several years ago I heard someone explain JOY as an acronym for Jesus Others Yourself.  They went on to explain that one of the ways we best experience JOY is when we have these in right priority.  Sadly, sometimes we go through times that lack JOY simply because we’ve ignored these priorities.  Jesus put it this way in Matthew 22:37,

“You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind.”

Then in verse 39 he went on to say

“You shall love your neighbor as yourself.” 

So if you are a follower of Christ, and at times struggle to live these verses out, I hope some of what I write will help us as we grow in our journey. 

About Me

As for me, I am a wife, mom of two, computer programmer/business analyst who began a relationship with Jesus sometime around the age of 5.  For so long I have looked at whomever was a bit further along in their journey than I and thought they have it all figured out.  I am now seeing that this isn’t necessarily the case.  We each have areas we shine in and areas we struggle with.  I have been helped and encouraged by many who have modeled what it looks like to walk out Jesus, Others, Yourself.  I am hopeful that some of the lessons I’ve learned along the way or am learning currently will be helpful to you.   

Jesus Others Yourself (J.O.Y.) Impact

So if you want to join me in seeing how living out J.O.Y. can make an IMPACT, I encourage you to stick around.