Do you, as a parent, wonder how best to help your child(ren) navigate feelings of anxiousness? I know for myself I had a lot of insecurity and lack of tools around these types of subjects.
As a Christian mom, my greatest goal was to point my children to Jesus. That certainly has not changed, but from a practical standpoint, I often wondered if I was navigating certain situations in the most helpful way, not only short-term but also long. Today I came across a podcast (her podcast is called Flusterclux) with Lynn Lyons. She is a psychotherapist with more than 30 years experience, specializing in anxiety. I think you will agree she has a very down to earth, practical, empowering way of explaining things. I also think you’ll find much of what she shares will not only be helpful to your child(ren) but you as well.
“To everything there is a season, A time for every purpose under heaven:” Ecclesiastes 3:1
In this post I want to discuss some of the times in my life that feel like “fall” / “autumn”. For me, this season is marked with both beauty and letting go – which can be messy and difficult. It also feels to me like a time of transition, like a time of “not yet.”
From predictable to wild
The leaves going from green to sometimes intense orange, yellow and red, for me, feels like a change from the consistent, but predictable to the wilder, less predictable. Certainly not all change is good and not all change is bad. In life, sometimes we get bored with the same ole same ole, other times we find sameness to have a steadying effect. I have experienced both. Because life doesn’t always change seasons as predictably as the global seasons, at times I have welcomed seasons of fall, and other times I’ve gone into them kicking and screaming for my sameness.
Impermanence
The falling of the leaves certainly points to impermanence. Once again, this has often been met with resistance for me in my life. I tend to want to hang on to things, people, places, relationships etc. However, once again I can tell you that the idea that things will change, are impermanent can feel good or bad. Do you tend to be a person who clings to things for too long, or do you get bored and wish to move on perhaps prematurely?
In the infant years with my kids, I really struggled with the lack of predictability, but in some ways I embraced impermanence. As I was struggling one day feeling like there was no way I was going to be able to meet all the needs of the day, I felt like God prompted me with a phrase that has served me ever since.
“I may not always be able to ____ [fill in the blank], but today I can.”
This worked for me in so many ways, for example if the thing felt too big for me to keep doing, I would realize it was not going to last forever. Or if the thing felt too important, I would be reminded that today I was getting the gift of getting to do it that day.
A few examples:
I may not always be able to spend 4 hours nursing my baby, but today I can.
I may not always be able to rock my baby to sleep, but today I can.
May I offer you this phrase today as a way to navigate the impermanence of life. To me it points to both His grace being enough in the moment, not in advance, and not afterwards, but in the moment and the reality that this moment we have all we need.
Our source of strength
There are many scriptures which we can cling to in order to remind us of the strength we have access to that is beyond ourselves. Here is a key example.
I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. Philippians 4:13
If you are at a place where the thing you are being asked to do today feels overwhelming or too much. May you be reminded of the strength that Jesus offers. Also may we remember that this may just be for a season, a time of “not yet.”
Keep doing the next right thing
Another key aspect of going through a season of fall, is to keep doing the next right thing. Fall is not a time to hide out or hunker down. In time a fall season often means it is a time to work – a time to labor for the harvests on the seeds you have planted or a time to plant new seeds that will germinate throughout the winter months. Dear friend may I encourage you to press on in these seasons that are filled with much unpredictability and change.
